How self-worth stops you from reaching your dreams?

Self-worth is such an underestimated topic. Almost all of us have this problem yet so few of us take action to end this. What we do is just feed that low self-worth and this results in stopping you from reaching your goals.

If you:
– are a people pleaser;
– are a perfectionist;
– overthink a situation and convince yourself that you did so badly in that situation;
– don’t think that you deserve to be happy (consciously and unconsciously);
– don’t acknowledge your success;
– are telling yourself how unsuccessful you are;
– comparing yourself to others;
-can’t seem to get anywhere in your life,
… then you probably have low self-worth.

Just to make you feel better, I am in the same boat. I tick all the boxes from above. Probably even more.

But recently, I have discovered some techniques that help me feel better about myself and realize that it’s all just a pattern in my mind. And that actually, I am capable of more than I think.

You probably ask yourself, what does self-worth have to do with reaching dreams, goals, and aspirations?

Here is the simple answer:

Low self-worth results in not trusting yourself and therefore not even trying new things. Because you think you are not good enough and that you will not succeed.

It’s that simple.

It’s like you would have a friend who wants really badly to quit his job and start his own business. If you would tell him: you are not good enough, you don’t have any business background bla-bla-bla, he might give up on his dream.

On the other hand, if you would encourage him and tell him that you are here for him no matter what, and you trust him, then you will give him that spark to actually take action.

It is our own thoughts that keep us from reaching our dreams.

How do we change that?

By having better self-worth about ourselves. Or, in other words, by offering ourselves love.

A step-by-step guide on improving self-worth

I must warn you that this is not a one-day or overnight process. It requires dedication and willingness to change. In return, you will have a better relationship with yourself, which is key to helping you reach your full potential as a human being.

1. Recognize your pattern

While you probably know that you have low self-worth, you might be asking yourself why. It might be because you want to fit into society (that’s why you people please), or it might be because your parents wanted you to always be the best in the class, among your relatives (and that’s why you are a perfectionist). Or it might be because you feel like only once you achieve a certain thing in your life you will be worthy, otherwise you are a failure.

All of these patterns were a survival mechanism for you until you realize that you are not in survival mode anymore. Now, you just do them unconsciously without even realizing it. But you know there is something wrong. That’s a good thing because suffering is a way of communicating to you that there is a need for change.

So just realize that there is this pattern in you that works on autopilot. It helped you before but now you want to get rid of it. And how do you get rid of it? By accepting it.

2. Acceptance

Nothing softens the self-criticism more than accepting it.

Accept the fact that it is a pattern and it served you a purpose. Thank it for keeping you alive. Accept all the emotions that come with it.

For instance, if you judge yourself for your speech in front of your colleagues, and you think that they thought you are stupid, or have nothing interesting to say, just accept it. Just let all of the emotions and thoughts run through your body without resisting them. They are all welcomed as long as you consciously realize that it is just a pattern of thoughts that got so deep and anchored in you that now it is almost a part of you.

There is nothing better to do than just accept them.

3. Action

So, what your biggest dream is?

I can start. My dream is to have a big loving family, be financially free, have a small house with a big garden, have time to make food from scratch, have time for small daily rituals, and have lots of personal project doing on (this blog, cooking blog, open a thrift store, write a book, create a course).

Visualization helps. Visualize all of your dreams to come true. Welcome all the senses: the smell of coffee, fresh air, a touch, a hug, a song. Anything. Visualization helps create new neuropathways in our brains which will change some of the old ones (including the ones that you think you are not worthy of all of this).

And then… things will naturally happen. Right now, I am writing this blog post although AI is invading with lots of blog posts like this in only 5 seconds, and although I have no idea what this is going to lead to. I just trust the process. I trust myself.

Please do the same. Start with small actions every day.

You may start with yourself. By sitting in stillness and listening: what do I want right now? what my goals are? what does my intuition say?

The answer is not going to come now but it will if you have just a little trust in yourself.

Final encouragements

Isn’t it crazy that the patterns in our minds lead to our everyday behavior and actions? We want to change but we can’t because of these deep-rooted patterns.

But again, accept them, and imagine your perfect life. You can get there despite what your mind is telling you. Remember: you can’t control your thoughts so don’t let them control you.

You can do much more than what you can think of. You have potential, you surely do.

With love,
Diana