We often say people are too busy for things when in reality people make time for what they want to make time for. If something is important to us, we’ll find a way to fit it into our schedules.
We make time for what we want without even realizing it. Just think about it. If you wanted to watch a new TV show, you would find the time to do so.
The same goes for others. If they want to spend time with someone, they’ll find a way to make it happen. If they’re always “too busy” for someone, it’s because they don’t really WANT to make time for others.
It’s all about priorities
In other words, it’s all about priorities. We always have time for things that are important to us. If something isn’t a priority, we’ll find an excuse not to do it (and do something that is higher in priority instead).
It’s not that we don’t have time, it’s that it’s not a priority.
For instance, let’s say you have a friend who is always busy. You invite them to do something and they always say they’re too busy. But then you see them posting on social media, or doing other things that they apparently have time for.
I know it’s heartbreaking when you see someone who is “too busy” for you, but you have to accept it. There is nothing to do about it.
P.S.: You can change your priorities if you want you. Here is a helpful guide on how to set your priorities.
Respect others priorities
We have to try to understand others. Because we are the same. We also have priorities. We also make time for things that we want. And we also use the excuse of being busy when we don’t want to do something.
It’s not personal. It’s just how we operate as human beings.
When we understand this, it’s easier to not take things personally. We can see that when someone is “too busy” for us, it’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that we’re not a priority for them. And that’s ok.
Being “too busy” all the time
There are 2 options:
- People are busy SOMETIMES. There are some weeks and months when we are actually busy. We all have problems and projects that we have to tackle.
- People are busy ALL THE TIME. If they’re ALWAYS busy, there’s a problem.
It might be that they’re using the excuse of being busy to avoid something (or someone).
Don’t try to fix this person. All you can do is be understanding and accepting. You can’t change other people’s priorities.
And if you find that someone is always “too busy” for you, maybe it’s time to find new friends who have time for you. Life is too short to waste time on people who don’t want to make time for you.
Some people are just more introverted
Some people are perfectly content being alone and don’t feel the need to be around others constantly.
This doesn’t mean they’re anti-social or lack the ability to interact with others, they just prefer to spend lots of time alone and savor their own company. For them, social interaction is not a priority and they’re perfectly happy spending time alone.
So it is not that they don’t want to make time for you, they just don’t want to make time for anyone. You’re not the only one.
The meaning of “I will make time for you”
When someone says “I will make time for you” it means that you’re a priority for them.
It means they want to spend time with you and they’ll find a way to make it happen, even if they’re REALLY busy.
So if someone says this to you, don’t take it for granted. It’s a really big deal. They care for you. Appreciate it.
People make time for what they want: 3 scenarios
There are three possible options when talking about priorities.
1 – Make time for your priorities first
Do you want to make time for this person? Great! Then make the effort and see if they want to make time for you too.
However, if you really don’t want to make time for this person, then don’t. Just be honest with yourself and them. (Or be polite and tell them that you are too busy, ha!.)
The thing to remember is that you need to put yourself first. Don’t make time for someone just because you feel bad saying no. Respect your own time and priorities.
2 – The sweet spot
The perfect match is if you want to make time for someone and they want it, too. This is the best-case scenario. And you can call these people friends, family, or loved ones.
You both make the effort and it’s easy because you both want it. This is a beautiful thing and you should cherish it.
3 – Respecting others’ priorities
The third and final scenario is when you want to make time for someone but they don’t.
I’ve been there so many times, unfortunately. I lost so many connections and friends because they were “too busy”. But this is how I made space for better relationships.
By understanding that it’s not personal, I was able to move on quickly. I respected their decision and stopped trying to force something that wasn’t meant to be.
Also, I respected myself and my own time. I gave myself permission to not make time for someone who wasn’t making time for me.
The point is, that you have to respect yourself and others. Don’t try to force anything. Just let it be and see what happens.
It is ok for people to make time for what they want
We know that it’s all about priorities. But what kind of priorities?
There are a few most common ones:
Having children, taking care of elderly parents, younger siblings, or maybe a spouse that they want to spend more time with – these things are a priority for many people. And it’s totally understandable.
In the end, family is where we feel the most comfortable and loved. They are the people we can always count on, no matter what. So it’s natural that we want to make time for them.
For some people, their career is the most important thing in their life. And that’s okay! It’s their priority.
Others are working extra hard to get promoted, make more money, or achieve some other goal. And that’s also perfectly fine.
What matters is that you respect their decision and don’t try to interfere with their priorities.
I am guilty of this. I often choose my blog or some other project over socializing. And that’s because these things are a priority for me.
Maybe you have a hobby that you’re passionate about. Or a side hustle that you’re trying to grow. Whatever it is, if it’s important to you, then make time for it.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not allowed to have your own priorities. You are! And if someone else is in the same shoes, let them be!
Everyone needs time to recharge and take care of themselves. Whether it’s going to the gym, taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, or anything else that us them feel good.
Mental and physical health should be a priority. And if that means making time for yourself, then do it! And let others do the same.
When is it NOT ok when people make time for what they want?
Of course, everyone has priorities. Everyone needs time for family, work, and so on. And that is totally understandable. However, people often come up with excuses when they don’t want to make time for you.
- “I’m too busy”
The most common one. And it’s often used as an excuse to not make time for someone.
Being busy all the time is not a good excuse. Even if they are busy, they can still make time for you if they want to.
- Not responding to messages, canceling plans, or taking days to reply
That’s disrespectful. If they can’t even be bothered to reply to your messages, then they’re not interested. And you shouldn’t force them to be.
- Being active on social media but not replying to messages/not meeting
In this era of social media, it’s so easy to stay in touch with people. But often, people are more active on social media than they are in real life. It’s not ok when people make time for social media but not for you. If they can’t even spare a few minutes to meet you or reply to your messages, then let them go.
- Always finding excuses
If they’re always making excuses, then it’s time to stop trying. And if they really wanted to make time for you, they would. They wouldn’t keep finding excuses.
Don’t get discouraged, though
I know how hard it is to realize that someone doesn’t want to make time for you. But don’t get discouraged!
There are people who are always there for you but you take it for granted. Be grateful for them and spend more time with them.
It’s a reminder for me, as well. Because I often take my loved ones for granted. And I don’t want to do that.
Take the initiative
Sometimes all we have to do is take the initiative. Stop waiting for others to text you or call you. You can be the one to text or call them first.
Don’t make a decision about someone until you actually ask them for their time. You might actually be surprised how many people are actually willing to make time for you.
Often, people are just waiting for someone to take the first step. And you never know, they might be waiting for you.
Quotes about “People make time for what they want”
“Many things aren’t equal but everyone gets the same 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We make time for what we truly want.” – Unknown
“The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs.” – Paris Hilton
“People make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to. Never believe anyone who says they’re too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would.” – Unknown
No matter how “busy” a person is, if they really care, they will always find time for you. – Anonymous
When you are important to another person, they will always find a way to make time for you – no excuses, no lies, and no broken promises. – Unknown
It’s not about ‘having’ time. It’s about making time. If it matters, you will make time. – Unknown
“Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t make time for you. If they truly love you, they will find a way. Not an excuse.” – Unknown
“Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time’ is like saying, ‘I don’t want to.’” – Lao Tzu
“You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.” – Charles Buxton
” “Too busy” is a myth. People make time for the things that are really important to them” – Unknown
It is so true that people make time for what they want.
And if they don’t make time for you at all, it’s a clear sign that you’re not a priority to them.
Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t make time for you. No matter if their excuses are understandable or disrespectful. There are so many other people who will appreciate your time and effort.
I hope this article has helped you in realizing that people make time for what they want. And if someone doesn’t make time for you, it’s not your fault. Neither theirs. It just means that you’re not a priority to them. And that’s ok. Just move on and find someone who will make time for you.
Have a lovely day!