20 Essential Relationship Goals to Strive For

Setting relationship goals is a great way to help keep your relationship a priority. By having specific goals in mind, you and your partner can work together to make sure that you are both happy and fulfilled in the relationship.

It’s not always easy to maintain the spark in a relationship. After years of being together, it’s easy for couples to get stuck in a routine and lose sight of what first drew them to each other.

But it’s important to keep the spark alive, and there are plenty of small things couples can do to keep the flame burning. You just need to know where to start.

Relationship goals are objectives that couples set together to improve their relationship. Also known as couple’s goals, these are typically short-term or long-term goals that couples work on together.

Why set relationship goals?

Setting relationship goals helps you and your partner to identify shared dreams and aspirations, and provides a roadmap for achieving them. It can also help to keep your relationship on track and prevent arguments or disagreements about which direction you’re both headed in.

Another benefit of setting relationship goals as a couple is that it can help to improve communication and understanding between you. It can also make problem-solving easier, as you’ll have a clear idea of what you’re working towards.

How to choose relationship goals that work for you?

The best way to choose relationship goals that will work for you as a couple is to sit down together and brainstorm.

Think about what you both want to achieve in the short-term and long-term. Try to come up with a mix of goals that are realistic and achievable, but also challenging enough to keep you both motivated.

Below, I will give you some examples of relationship goals that you could set together. You can choose the ones that resonate most with you and adapt them to suit your own relationship.

20 examples of relationship goals

1. Be an open book to each other

Honesty is always said to be the best policy, and that’s especially true in a relationship.

When you’re open and honest with your partner, it builds trust and creates a deeper connection.

It can be difficult to share your thoughts and feelings, especially if they’re negative, but it’s important to remember that your partner is there to support you. They’ll be more understanding than you think.

Being honest also means being supportive when your partner needs to vent. Sometimes we all need to let off steam, and it’s important to be there for your partner during those times. Just listen and provide a shoulder to cry on, and they’ll do the same for you when you need it.

Check in with each other regularly to see how the other is doing and encourage each other to share their thoughts and feelings, even if they’re negative.

2. Prioritize date nights at least once a week

Going on regular dates gives you a chance to reconnect without distractions, share new experiences together, and just enjoy each other’s company.

Just remember to focus on quality time, not quantity. So turn off your phones, put away the laundry, and enjoy each other’s company. Whether you’re cooking dinner together, playing a game, or just talking, taking some time for yourselves will do wonders for your relationship.

Don’t let your busy schedule get in the way of quality time with your partner – make date night a priority, and you’ll reap the benefits in your relationship.

There are plenty of simple (and inexpensive) things you can do to make sure you and your partner have quality time together.

Just because you’re not going out for a fancy dinner doesn’t mean you can’t have a romantic evening at home. Make your partner’s favorite meal, open a bottle of wine, light on the candles, and put romantic music on. Or, if you’re looking for something active, go on a hike or take a dance class together.

Get creative and make that date night happen!

Related: People make time for what they want

3. Kiss every day for at least 30 seconds

A daily 30-second kiss (or two) makes you really feel connected to your partner and it’s a simple way to show your love. It makes those little everyday moments more special, and you will feel closer to your partner as a result.

The key is to make it a real kiss, not just a peck on the cheek. Really, truly kiss your partner every day, for at least 30 seconds.

30 seconds in a day feels like nothing, but it can make a big difference in your relationship.

4. Create memories together

Because of routine, it’s easy to get into a rut in a relationship. You start doing the same things every day, and it can feel like you’re just going through the motions.

One way to prevent this from happening is to make a point of creating new memories together, so you have something to look back on and share with each other.

A true connection is about shared experiences, so the more memories you have together, the stronger your bond will be.

Don’t just focus on the big things, either. Smaller moments can be just as special. It could be anything from watching the sunrise together to trying a new restaurant.

Also, don’t be afraid to get a little crazy and do something you’ve always wanted to do. It could be skydiving, going on a road trip, or visiting a new country. 

Whatever it is, make sure you’re doing it together and creating memories that will last a lifetime.

5. Don’t forget the power of flirtation

Flirting might seem like a silly thing to prioritize, but it’s actually an important part of a relationship. It’s how you keep the spark alive and show your partner that you’re still interested.

Of course, you don’t need to be constantly flirting to have a healthy relationship – but it is important to make sure that you’re still making an effort to flirt with your partner on a regular basis.

Simply taking the time to compliment your partner, tease them good-naturedly, or playfully touch them can be enough to keep the spark burning bright. 

Being silly and playful with each other is also a great way to keep the flirtation alive. It’s all about maintaining that sense of fun and playfulness in your relationship.

6. Hold hands whenever possible

It’s amazing how something so simple can mean so much.

Just by holding hands whenever possible, you’re showing your partner that you care about them and that you want to be physically close to them.

It’s a way of saying, “I’m here for you”, and it can be incredibly comforting and reassuring.

Whenever you walk together, sit next to each other, or are just hanging out at home, take the opportunity to reach for your partner’s hand.

If you think you are old to hold hands, then you are wrong. This is something that couples of all ages can do, and it will only make your relationship stronger.

And it’s never too late to start again if you stopped holding hands for some reason. Just reach for your partner’s hand and give it a squeeze.

7. Be each other’s biggest cheerleaders

No one knows better than your partner how great you really are. So why not be each other’s number one fan?

It’s so essential to build each other up and support each other, especially when things are tough. Be each other’s biggest cheerleaders and let your partner know that you believe in them, no matter what.

If your partner is in doubt, it’s your job to remind them of how amazing they are. Who else is going to do it if not you?

Make sure to celebrate your partner’s successes, both big and small. Don’t just take them for granted – really let them know how proud you are of them.

And when they’re going through a tough time, be there for them. Let them know that you’re in their corner and that you’ll always be their biggest fan.

8. Be each other’s best friend

My partner once told me that we are not only a couple but also friends… and roommates. Ok, friends, but roommates? It kind of makes sense, but… anyways.

The thing is, he wasn’t wrong.

A relationship is not just about being attracted to each other – it’s also about being best friends.

You should be able to rely on your partner for anything, whether you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to help you move furniture. You should be able to tell them anything, without fear of judgment.

In addition, you should be able to have fun together, even when you’re not doing anything special. When you’re in a good relationship, it feels like spending time with your best friend, and that’s what makes it so special.

9. Find an activity that you both enjoy

It can be anything from playing tennis to going for hikes to watching your favorite TV show together. Whatever it is, make sure it’s something that you both enjoy and that you can do together on a regular basis.

Having a shared activity is a great way to connect with your partner and spend quality time together. It’s a chance to chat, laugh, and just enjoy each other’s company.

And it’s a great way to bond over something that you’re both passionate about.

It is also something that will get you out of the house and routine and do something together, which is always good for a relationship.

10. Make sure to spend time apart

It’s important to have your own hobbies and interests, that is why it’s important to spend time apart from your partner.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that you should never see each other. But it’s important to have time for yourself, and time with your friends.

It’s essential to have some space and not be in each other’s pockets all the time. It’ll make you both appreciate each other more, and it’ll give you a chance to miss each other.

Find a balance that works for you, and make sure to schedule in some “me” time, even if it’s just an hour or two a week.

11. Don’t be each other source of happiness

Let’s be realistic, not only romantic. If your partner is your only source of happiness, then you’re in trouble.

No one can make you happy all the time – that’s something you have to do for yourself. Of course, your partner can make you happy, but they shouldn’t be the only thing that does.

In reality, you should find happiness within and spread it with others. So if you’re feeling down, tell that to your partner, let him support you, but don’t expect him/her to fix it.

Working towards finding happiness within yourself is something that will not only make you happier but also make your relationship stronger.

12. Take care of yourself

By taking care of yourself, you take care of each other.

It’s important to nurture your own happiness and well-being so that you can be the best version of yourself for your partner.

It’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes – it’s necessary.

Practicing self-care can be anything from getting enough sleep to taking a relaxing bath to going for a run. Do whatever makes you feel good, and make sure to do it on a regular basis.

Your partner will appreciate it indirectly, and it’ll make you feel better, too.

So it’s a win-win!

13. Do not raise the voice

Fights are beneficial from time to time. It is actually a sign that you are both invested in the relationship. But what is not fine is raising your voice during an argument.

Some people find it hard to control their anger, but it is possible. Do not let your mind think that it is not. Once you start raising your voice, it becomes harder to communicate and solve the problem.

Staying calm during a fight is important. It’ll help you to better understand each other and to find a resolution more quickly. It will also make you less likely to say something that you’ll regret later.

Next time you’re in a fight, take a deep breath in and a very long exhale out. Be intentional with your sayings. I know it’s hard, but you do it for both of you.

14. Prioritize each other’s love language

In order to love each other in the way that they need to be loved, you need to know what their love language is.

We all have different ways of expressing and receiving love, and it’s important to find out what your partner’s love language is.

Are they someone who likes to receive gifts? Or do they prefer quality time? Maybe they appreciate acts of service, or maybe they just like to be touched.

You can also both take the quiz together to find out each other’s love languages.

Once you know what makes your partner feel loved, make sure to do those things on a regular basis. By doing so, you’ll make them feel loved and appreciated, and your relationship will be all the better for it.

15. Don’t keep score

In a healthy relationship, there’s no such thing as keeping score.

For instance, maybe you cooked dinner last night and did the dishes. And maybe your partner did the grocery shopping. That doesn’t mean that you’re even, and it doesn’t mean that your partner now owes you.

Doing things for each other should be its own reward, not something that’s done with the expectation of getting something in return.

Do these chores with love, and do them without expecting anything in return. That’s the best way to show your partner that you care.

That doesn’t mean that you can never do something nice for your partner. You should, of course, do things for each other out of the goodness of your heart. But don’t keep track, and don’t expect anything in return.

Just enjoy doing something nice for the person you love.

16. Surprise each other

Some people say that they don’t like surprises. What if it’s a sticky note hidden in your notebook which says “Take care today”? Or an unexpected “I’m thinking of you” text message in the middle of a busy day.

Such small things mean so much, and they can really make your partner’s day.

So don’t be afraid to surprise each other every now and then. It’ll make your relationship all the more special.

Some more examples of small surprises:

  • Buying their favorite ice cream on a hot day
  • Their favorite candy bar in their lunch
  • A love note that is hidden in their wallet
  • A bar of chocolate in the post box.

Any of these small things will surely make your partner’s day.

17. Reduce screen time when being together

In today’s world, it’s easy to get lost in our phones and other devices. But when you’re spending time with your partner, it’s important to put away the screens and focus on each other.

Instead of reaching for your phone to scroll through social media, take the time to ask your partner about their day, share some of your thoughts, or just be together in silence.

It might seem like a small thing, but by reducing your screen time when you’re together, you’ll be doing a lot to improve your relationship.

There is no yet research in this sense, but there are some assumptions that a lot of screen time can ruin your relationship.

So next time when you’re together, put away the screens and focus on each other instead.

18. Be silly together

One of the best things about being in a relationship is being able to let loose and be yourself.

So don’t be afraid to be silly with your partner. Tell each other bad jokes, make funny faces, and be goofy together.

It might seem silly to be silly (ha!), but by doing so, you’ll be able to relax and just be yourself, without any pressure or stress.

Plus, it’s always good to laugh together. So go ahead and be silly with your partner. You’ll both enjoy it.

19. Discuss the finances

Money is one of the most common sources of stress in a relationship. So it’s important to have a healthy and open discussion about finances with your partner.

Talk about your financial goals, your budget, and what you’re comfortable spending money on. By doing so, you’ll be able to avoid arguments and stress related to money.

Also, be sure to communicate if you want to save up for something specific, or if you’re not comfortable spending money on certain things.

The important thing is to have a healthy and open discussion about finances with your partner.

20. Fall in love again with each other

When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s easy to take your partner for granted. But remember why you fell in love with them in the first place.

What was it that you loved about them? What attracted you to them?

You can even have an open discussion with your partner about that. Ask them what they love about you, and share your own thoughts as well.

Remember those first weeks or months when everything was new and exciting? Try to recreate that feeling by doing something new and exciting together. It’ll bring the spark back into your relationship.

Things you need to know about setting relationship goals

  • Try to set both short-term and long-term goals. An example of a short-term goal could be “try a new restaurant once a month”, while an example of a long-term goal could be “having 5 children together”.
  • Be realistic with your goals. It’s important to set goals that are achievable, otherwise, you’ll just end up feeling disappointed and frustrated. For instance, don’t set a goal to “become millionaires together” if you’re not already almost millionaires.
  • Set relationship goals that are important to both of you. This is especially important in a relationship because you’re working towards a common goal. So make sure that the goals you set are something that both of you care about and want to achieve.
  • Write them down. Having your goals written down will help you to remember them and to keep track of your progress. Make sure to review your goals regularly. This will help to keep you both motivated and on track.

Final thoughts

Setting relationship goals is a great way to improve your relationship and to make sure that you’re both on the same page.

All these tips shared are important and you need to strive for them, but the most important thing is to communicate with your partner. After all, a relationship is all about communication.

I want to also mention that everything that I share is from my own experience and research.

I wish you all the best in your relationship, and I hope that these tips will help you to improve your relationship.

Have a loving day!


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